Well, here's a slice of my fantasy life.
I think of myself as Robert Petrie on the old Dick Van Dyke show.
I Love Lucy, Seinfeld, Mash.
All great situation comedies.
But none of them compare to the world that the head writer of the Alan Brady show lived in.
And like Rob Petrie, I find humor in almost everything.
You already know that I can't help myself when someone passes gas.
Dogs, babies, and geriatrics innocently go "pffftt" and set my dial on the laugh cycle.
At the office, Buddy Sorrell (Morey Amsterdam) and Sally Rogers (Rosemarie) went into one shtick after another helping Rob create comedy routines for a tyrannical variety show host.
I'm always cutting up at the office to try to lighten the mood.
Once a client with bad body odor left the office and I pretended to be pass out. My staff almost called an ambulance.
At home, I've got my own Laura Petrie.
My wife is a similar brunette beauty who also looks good in Capri pants.
And like Laura, she is mystified by the way I find humor in various home disasters.
Laura once got her toe stuck in a bathtub faucet.
My bride watched as trained fire professionals scoured our home looking for the source of smoke.
An ardent fire lieutenant discovered a wooden spoon left protruding into the flame of a gas burner on the stove.
My Laura was mortified.
"That's NOT funny!"
Oh yes, that is funny.
I almost wet my pants.
When my kids misplaced something, I would find the item, place it on top of my head, and confront the careless offspring, explaining that there was no hope of finding it.
This was always a family favorite, especially when my serious tone contrasted with the ridiculous sight of someone's underwear sitting on top of my noggin.
Like Rob, I put on a serious suit every morning.
And I look for absurd life moments all day long.
Just like my hero.
My spouse cried when my toilet replacement project led to the appearance of the Old Faithful geyser right next to the commode.
By the way, the water pressure in my house is powerful.
Hit the ceiling it did.
Hilarious to me.
Not hilarious to Laura.
Episode 38, I think.
How about the dozens of times Mel Cooley turned to Buddy, his Don Rickles-like nemesis, and exclaimed "yecchh!"
I imagine myself in that funny, smart world.
And I try to be there in real life.
Guess I'm crazy, huh?
Maybe so, but I'm generally happy most of the time.
Just like the Petrie family.
Lighten up and find the sitcom in your life.
It doesn't have to be my favorite show featuring this couple from New Rochelle, New York.
But it should include a lot of laughs.
Belly laughs that are medicine for your soul.
You and your whole family will feel better.
I guarantee it.
If you don't, I'll come find your missing underwear.