Thursday, October 31, 2013

Alas alack: Bigger is Better

Is bigger better?


It is in our neighborhood.


You see, a few days ago, and for the last 20 years, we have handed out full size candy bars on Halloween.


Children come from all over.


It's a known fact in  the local world of trick-or-treat.  And it seems that word has spread.


That family off Lloyd Road gives out full size.


Snickers so big  they seem to hold court in the bottom of your pillow case.


Lording it over those itsy-bitsy excuses for candy bars that the whole world has gravitated to.


Those tiny bars are called "fun size" or "snack size".




I just call it cheap.


The dollar doesn't stretch like it used to.


That goes for everyone these days.


That's why Hershey's and Mars and Nestlé invented midget confections sold with 48  in a plastic bag.


Walmart, Target, and Marc's ring up millions of dollars in sales with these plastic bags filled with scaled-down versions of the real McCoy.


But I remember the old days when a box of milk duds was so big you could cause bruising if you threw it at someone (based on real life experience).


Devouring a full-size Nestlé's crunch bar!


Reese's Peter Buttercup, with two cups!


A Baby Ruth designed to fill you up!


No, we are not made out of money.


But trick-or-treating has changed so much these days, what with the danger of weirdos putting strange things in apples and other reasons for kids to be wary.


And my own kids are all grown up, pursuing dietary habits that don't include heavy doses of milk chocolate, layered with creamy nougat and roasted peanuts.


That means Nancy and I have this unique annual opportunity to relive our own childhood through the eyes of those ringing our doorbell in hopes of the Holy Grail.


Full size candy.


So, for one night,  as a way to reward those youngsters still willing to brave the cold and the rain that usually accompanies old hallows eve, we have continued to do something special.


For one night, ours is the hero house.


Everyone wants to visit.


Just a few nights ago, Dracula, Superman, and a fairy princess looked at me with big eyes filled with joy at the size of a big candy bar dropped into their bag of loot.


Superheroes and Frankenstein monsters, you and your associates are all welcome.


And that goes for you too, Skeletor.


The Lynch family continues to go big.


Live large.


Oh, and one more thing.


Do as I did lo these many Halloweens ago.


Remove a few bars and hide a secret stash of your own for a later time.


Big brothers and sisters are known to pilfer when those with super powers are sleeping.


I should know.


With seven older siblings, I was easy picking as I snored away in a sugar induced stupor.


Hide the jewels, Superman.


The Lynch family has them to give out.


See you next year.


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