Thursday, November 7, 2013

Stubble stumbles in an effort to look cool

What's with the stubble?

 

It popped up several years ago, during the heyday of a show called Miami Vice.

 

Hunk actor Don Johnson portrayed a modern cool police detective in south Florida and he was never clean-shaven.

 

He went with the stubble look.

 

The trend continued to grow.

 

Brad Pitt strolled the red carpet at the Academy Awards with a whisker growth that looked like he'd just rolled out of bed after sleeping for three days. 

 

Look at a fashion magazine.

 

Male models are never clean-shaven.

 

Stubble means sexy.

 

Even those with gray hair have joined this new grungy style.

 

Remember Jason Giambi in his geriatric pinch hitting role for the Indians this last season?

I haven't seen so much salt and pepper on one man's face since Lucy threw the spice rack at Desi Arnez.

 

And how about Wolf Blitzer of CNN?

 

He's  the Senior News Correspondent who works hard to achieve that white whisker appearance.

 

 

What a change from the 1950s, 60s, and 70s.

 

Back then you had the choice between clean-shaven or a full beard.

 

Going in between, that is, the stubble look, was considered shabby.

 

Remember the old hobo played by Red Skelton?

 

He wore raggedy clothes, uncombed hair, and he needed a shave.

 

Stubbly.

 

But today the stubble has come into full bloom.

 

No wonder Gillette has increased the cost of razor blades.

 

We don't use them as often as we used to.

 

Here's something amazing.

 

Norelco now sells an electric razor designed not to give you a close shave.

 

It has a stubble setting that allows the user to regulate the stubble length.

 

You have the choice of three different settings:

One. I forgot to shave this morning.

Two. A wife-beater shirt would go nicely with this look.

Three.  I really don't give a crap what I look like but don't I appear a little dangerous.

 

 

Let me ask you ladies.

 

Is this scruffy, I haven't had a shave in 2 to 3 days look really such a turn-on?

 

Why did you change?

 

I remember when commercials used to feature a beautiful blonde stroking the  smooth cheek of a freshly shaved athlete as if to say that a close shave was the quickest route to landing a hot chick.

 

There's something about an Aqua Velva man!

 

For me, I like that feeling of a close shave.

 

I admit that it's a pain in the keister to shave every morning.

 

But it makes me feel clean and refreshed, ready to attack the day.

 

Stubble?

 

To me it means tired and unwashed.

 

So go ahead, stubble away.

 

I'm going clean-cut and freshly scraped of facial follicles.

 

Aqua Velva is in my bathroom cabinet.

 

Call me old-fashioned.

 

But I'm not rough hewn.

 

Not a bad boy.

 

A nice shave: soft as a baby's bottom.

 

Easy girls.

 

I'm taken.

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