Obama's team played the role of the ogre last week because some eleven year old boys couldn't authenticate their birth certificates.
Only Shakespeare could have assembled so much irony and tragedy in this drama that began on the grassy plains of Africa.
New York City philanthropist Richard Stanley had a far-fetched dream years ago: introducing boys in Uganda to Little League baseball.
Stanley's millions led to ball diamonds and even a baseball academy.
Build it and they will come.
And indeed they did. American baseball came to Uganda and suddenly orphaned and impoverished boys really had something to smile about.
Joy in the land of sadness.
An ESPN interview caught one youngster fantasizing out loud on camera that his goal was to one day pitch for the Yankees (Indians fans will forgive such blasphemy when it's uttered by this idealistic innocent).
Buoyed by the uniforms, equipment, and coaching made possible by Stanley's generosity, the ragtag Ugandan All-Star team did something amazing.
Remember, these boys were rough. The Bad News Bears of Buwama.
They rocked and shocked the world of Little League baseball.
Kids who had never been more than a mile outside of their own villages had traveled all the way to Poland to defeat the team from Saudi Arabia who enjoyed all the comforts that Saudi oil sheiks could provide.
Orphans defeat billionaire children.
As a result, the Ugandan team was poised to travel to South Williamsport, Pennsylvania.
The first team from Africa ever to participate in the Little League World Series.
I want the movie rights to this story.
You see, every good drama has to have a villain to enter the scene just when the hero is on the brink of unexpected greatness.
Enter Obama's State Department.
Birth certificates that were good enough for the Polish government and World Series officials were lacking when reviewed by American bureaucrats.
The State Department says they were concerned about inconsistencies in reported birth dates for some of the lads.
No kidding. It's Uganda, you nincompoops. These kids come from villages struggling to find drinkable water.
They are recovering from the national genocide that saw their relatives macheted to death by the thousands.
The legacy of Idi Amin.
Memo to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton: Uganda doesn't have a Bureau of Vital Statistics down the street with birth information stored on a hard drive.
The birth records in Uganda are even sketchier than those you might find in, well, for example, Hawaii. Sound familiar?
Here's the bottom line. The greatest feel-good story of the year has come to a screeching halt.
The boys of the Serengeti are not coming to Pennsylvania.
Don't you think this president, who is in desperate need of some positive PR, could have intervened to save the dreams of some little boys in Africa?
Someone please ask the following at Obama's next press conference.
Mr. President, do you think questions regarding a birth certificate should derail a great opportunity for sincere young men striving for remarkable achievement?
The Birthers were wrong.
And so is the State Department.
Crushing the hopes of children is bad diplomacy.
And dumb politics.
Keep playing boys.
After all, the President is up for re-election next year.