Thursday, June 28, 2012

Mangy Prairie Mutts make Municipal Nightmare

The horribly stupid yet embarrassingly funny film Caddyshack has become a cult phenomenon.

Baby Ruth treated like a hazmat item in the bottom of the pool.

Rodney Dangerfield's high-tech bartender-friendly stereo golf bag.

And the incessant battle between bumbling Bill Murray and the gophers constantly chewing up the fairways and greens.

The gophers dance around the course, mocking Murray as Carl Spackler, the brainless idiot who attempts to dynamite the rodents into oblivion.

The explosives destroy the golf course and the varmints remain unfazed.

Enter reality.

In Paraghona, Utah, prairie dogs,  second cousins to the gopher,  inspire hatred for  critters worthy  of Ted Knight's country club groundskeepers.

The city fathers are sounding the alarm because the Utah Prairie Dog, a federally protected species, is making mincemeat (or should I say Alpo) of their town.

These furry friends have been pretty unfriendly.

They are burrowing everywhere.

The most dramatic dirt demolition has occurred at the local airport.

Doggie dungeons have been excavated right underneath the runways, causing deep depressions on the tarmac.

Jets can't take off or land.

Too dangerous.

A new fence surrounds the airport running 6 feet below ground level to discourage the pesky buggers.

At a cost of three hundred thousand dollars!

It's not working.

Mayor Connie Robinson wants to use lethal means.

The local minister has weighed in on the problem.

"God gave man dominion over the creatures of the earth. In our town, they have dominion over us!"

Rightly said, holy man with the Mallard duck collar.

Sounds almost biblical doesn't it?

Well, maybe it is.

Listen to this.

 The prairie puppies are digging up the municipal cemetery as well.

 Tombstones tipped.

Mausoleums mauled.

Chins chewed.

Creepy, huh?

It seems that the condo development beneath the buried has led to a bit of nibbling.

The mostly herbivorous earth scratchers won't let Uncle Joe's remains get in the way of a hallway between  prairie dog apartments.

I'm impressed by the architectural wonder of these expansive burrows.

Did you know these tunnels provide homes for other animals as well?

Owls and snakes couldn't survive without the chambers created by this happy corps of subterranean bulldozers.

That's why Lindsey Sterling   formed the Prairie Dog Coalition.

She wants them relocated, not killed.

Very costly.

Does cuteness trump cost?

The Mayor  sees her town collapsing into a field of sinkholes engineered by Deputy Dog of the Prairie.

If the animal lovers prevail, Paraghona may fall into the past, a memory of the way the West was whittled away, one tiny little scoop of dirt at a time.

In Jaws, the mayor of Amity Island hires shark hunter  Captain Quint to rid the beaches of the Great White.

Today, Mayor Robinson is hoping Bill Murray might show up to do the job.

Bill Murray's character glorifies a great golf shot during the movie by shouting "It's in the hole!"

It is indeed in the hole.

Just how do we get it out of the hole?

Baby Ruth, anyone?

No comments:

Post a Comment