Thursday, December 5, 2013

Breezy Birthday suit inappropriate for receiving politicians

Another story ripped from the pages of  my former life in politics.

The first time I ran for Mayor, I focused my campaign  on the one thing I could afford to do.

Knock  on doors.

I met thousands of people on their doorsteps and it made a huge impact, despite the fact that I had no budget for fancy ads in newspapers(this was in 1987, before the age of the internet and dynamic websites).

One of the most memorable experiences involved a naked lady.

One hot Sunday afternoon in August  I came to  a home where the front door was wide open so I had to knock on the screen door. The sun was low in the sky and I can remember that the doorbell was broken.

Now some of the screen doors are made out of a soft plastic and you really have to rap hard with your knuckles to make enough noise to get someone's attention inside the house. I knocked very loudly and then peered in through the  screen.

On the La-Z-Boy recliner right in the front living room I could make out the figure of a beautiful brunette with very long hair and porcelain skin.

She must have wanted to cool off because she was lying down on the lounge chair with a fan blowing on her.

 

My banging on the door  so startled her that she leaned onto her side and fell right on to the floor. I guess she had been sleeping. She hit the floor with a bang and then sprang to her feet, not coming to the door, but instead darting across the room.

 

It was then that I noticed that this young lady was racing from her fall to another room so that she could put some clothes on. She was completely naked. I began to tip-toe down the steps of her porch to move on to the next house.

 

However, before I could do so she reemerged at the door wearing a robe and assuming that I had not seen a thing.

 

I of course acted like I hadn't observed anything and gave her my normal political pitch along with a piece of literature.

 

As I went up the walkway to the next house I started thinking about the way she had been looking at me while we were speaking. I could see in her face that she was wondering if I had actually seen anything. I think I concealed my observations pretty well but I remember telling my wife when I got home that there was an important lesson to be learned.

 

No matter how hot it is, close the front door before you lounge around naked in the living room.

 

Being seen naked by a stranger is usually not a good idea.

 

Especially when that stranger is  one of the lowest forms of life.

 

A politician. 

 

No comments:

Post a Comment